Student Nurse - Poem
Katie Huff, SN
A picture's worth a thousand words, but often because you get to decide what to see.
What you wouldn't read
in this picture is more than a face at peace,
but a mind that battles mental disease
and wins by the only One who could set her free.
A face that hides terror, inadequacy, and precarious faith
every day, and accepts the responsibility of those scrubs anyway
because she knows there's more than her pain
at play, and she’s not the only one depending on the repercussions of that choice to be brave.
I desperately want to share this season, but it's so hard to explain,
how I wake up twice a week dreading
those scrubs, but five
are spent dwelling on how I've never felt so alive.
How I sometimes forget how to breathe or eat or sleep
or speak in normal society,
but I'm getting better at it every day a new challenge tests my peace
and asks me how many other idolized priorities
I need to release,
so I can mirror what He's done in me,
as imperfect as my mimic may be.
If I do look stressed, it’s because I'm biologically fighting death.
If I sound depressed it’s because we haven't won the war against sin's gruesome effects, yet.
It's not because something's wrong with me
Its an accurate, appropriate, response to grief.
It's because I'm using every ounce of my gifting
to look at the ocean of needs overflowing from humanity
and offer my broom, knowing that I'm only
reaching a miniscule percent of the hurting.
But they're my hurting. And I've asked God to make me the healing they need,
the broom that sweeps back their view of the sea that's drowning their belief
in a God who sees their pain and provides His peace.
So even if it only brings you a moment of relief,
know that I will intervene,
to be your broom, and fight your sea.
I’m learning to be a nurse because I want the opportunity
for you to matter to me.